Downtown Bingo Review

The word 'downtown' will always connote certain things. Or at least it does in our eyes. The hustle and bustle of a busy city centre, mid and high-rise buildings rising up in all directions. The hubbub of noise that can only be created when 24-7 traffic tones are trapped in streets that have long since been awarded the status of 'real wind tunnel'.

Downtown Bingo is perhaps the complete antithesis of its own name, if we apply that definition of downtown. Rather than showing us imagery that invokes steaming manhole covers and the chaos of 21st Century life at its rawest, but also most decadent, desperate, disparate and yet also together, we are instead greeted with the city equivalent of a level in Super Mario World. That might not sound like the worst thing ever, until you realise that there's none of the artistry that made SMW so bloody playable in the first place. Instead all that is here is a sky blue background, which presumably represents just that – the sky – some clouds, and not the toxic kind that currently plague every from London to Beijing, and a small logo containing the website name- Downtown Bingo, in case that wasn't clear already- and the vague outline of a non-description skyline. It's hardly inspiring by any stretch of the most desperate imagination.

Still, who are we to complain? We didn't design this, and presumably if we could design bingo websites we wouldn't be using someone else's. Point taken, and hopefully made, let's take a closer look below the surface at exactly what this one is doing right, and what it is so obviously doing wrong.

Who is Responsible?

The first thing that will probably strike you about Downtown Bingo is that the whole thing looks like a bit of a mess. As you scroll down the initial landing page you will see exactly what we mean. When we ran a test of the website it was coming up to International Women's Day, and this was proudly emblazoned across the page in not one, not two, but three identical box outs.

Call us confused or whatever, but this is about as professional when it comes to design as having an argument with your wife in the middle of a pitch to potential investors in your new company. It looks ridiculous. Granted, the stereotype is for bingo sites to cater to a predominantly female audience, but if you're going to also show support for a day designed to empower the not-so-fairer sex, would it not be a good idea to show them enough respect that they can see a link that can be clicked. More so, enough respect to deliver them an actual product which is up to date, or at least one that doesn't look like it hasn't been improved upon for about six years.

It Gets Worse

The further down we go the more this website begins to look like a blog about cats written by an 18-year-old in the late-90s who wanted to experiment with pre-determined layouts and templates. The information that you're first confronted with is pretty much irrelevant if you're not already a member, or if you're not already seriously considering signing up. They write you through the various seasonal bonuses and deals on offer, and it's only at the bottom of the page when there is any reference to the actual games on offer. And this is in a simply box out with a list of sections of the gaming area. There are no thumbnails with graphics, hell, there's not even a change of font from the top of this page to the bottom when it comes to the actual body text. Still want to play? Thought not.

Oh, You Actually Do Want to Persevere?!

We commend you as a stronger and more patient person than we are. Cutting to the chase, although this is predominantly a bingo website, it does have other areas. Let's deal with each individually. First up, the bingo itself. Well, it's pretty decent standard and choice in terms of what there is here to play, but we still can't really get beyond the feeling that this is a very rushed, or very ill-conceived and poorly put together website. It just feels incredibly cheap and nasty, like someone forgot everything that was ever possible with HTML.

Nevertheless, there is bingo to play. You'll also find 'Keno and More', which is another great section. Just in case it wasn't clear we were joking, we were. The Keno is OK, the other a little limited – comprising a basic selection of rather outdated casino games. Aside from this, you'll also find Slots, and Video Poker. The slots themselves are again pretty average, and certainly won't be igniting the passions of slot enthusiasts the world over or anything. Video Poker, on the other hand, is a nice touch and one that we should actually give some credit for. It was just the other day when we were reviewing another Bingo website that actually failed to have any poker provision whatsoever, instead relying on bingo alone, along with a few measly games of roulette and blackjack. The video poker itself is surprisingly advanced here, too, and certainly up there with some of the best we have seen from non-full range Casino websites.

How About Them Apples (Bonuses)?

Good question. Although we did berate the developers slightly for giving us a host of seasonal offers on the homepage without actually showing us any evidence of whether the games on offer were very good or not, it has to be said that with a range of around five regular promotions and deals, plus constantly updated seasonal variants, what Downtown Bingo falls down on in almost every possible way, it makes up for in terms of trying to give you added incentives to play. Having said that sentence out loud, or at least committed to writing, it becomes clear that this is the only logical way for a poor quality betting website to play things. Still, it could be a lot worse, surprising as that sounds.

Downtown Conclusion

Downtown Bingo is like that kid in school who could have done anything they wanted with life, but instead couldn't be bothered to turn up to class, on time at first, but by the end just not attending outright. We like to believe you should never put a good bingo website down, but in this instance there's not very much good here to preserve. It may sound harsh, but the best thing for this site could well be calling its own time, and putting it out of its evident misery.